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Fish Tales

The DD

A Man, His wife and the cop

Tale Of The Alabama State Trooper

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Fish tales

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle

of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed

a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and

was pulled over.

The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and

was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was

speeding, but I don't think it's fair. There were plenty of

other cars around me going just as fast, so why did I get the

ticket?"

"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

"Ummm, yeah... so," the startled man replied.

The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch ALL the fish?"

The DD

A police officer, who was hoping to catch someone being drunk, waited

outside a bar. Now most Bars close at Midnight......

so he parked himself right around the bar and waited for someone to come

out drunk and try to drive.

Sure enough, at 11:45 PM a man came stumbling out of the bar.........

It took him 5 mins to get to his car....

And another five to turn the car on....

The police officer sensed victory and let the man drive.......

He pulled the man over at about 50 FT away from the Tavern.

He walked up to the man and said, "I just saw you come out of that bar,

you were pretty loaded."

"dknguifshregjdgfnfdjgn," said the drunk man.

"How many beers did you have?" asked the police officer.

"anoout fiften," said the man.

"FIFTEEN! And you are trying to drive?!? You will get life for this,"

said the officer.

"Hop outta the car. I am gonna run some tests on you," said the officer.

The man hoped out of his car with perfect grace, he smiled and stood on

one foot, hopped up and down and said his ABC's fowards and backwards.

The police officer couldn't get it.

"Ok, let me smell your breath," said the officer.

"Sure," said the man.

He exhaled right into the officers nose and the officers smelt no beer

on his breath.

"Well I guess I am gonna have to let you go, but why did you stumble out

of the bar so drunk?"

"Oh i am the DD," said the man.

"A designated Driver?"

"No, a designated Decoy," said the man.

A Man, His Wife And The Cop

A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rear view mirror

pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a

stop, a police officer approaches the car.

The man says, "What's the problem officer?"

Officer: You were going 75 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour

zone. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ticket you.

Man: No sir, I was going a little over 60.

Wife: Oh, Harry. You were going at least 80! [The man gives wife

dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail

light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks!

[The man gives his wife another a dirty look.]

Officer: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing

your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh, Harry, you never wear your seat belt!

The Man turns to his wife and yells, "For cryin' out loud, can't

you just shut up?!"

The officer turns to the woman and asks, "Ma'am, Does your

husband talk to you this way all the time?"

Wife says, "No officer, Only when he's drunk."

Tale Of The Alabama State Trooper

Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a

state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his

nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and the trooper smacks him

in the head with the stick.

The driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over,

you'll have your license and registration ready."

The driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license and registration, and he

comes up clean.

He gives the guy his license and registration back and walks around to

the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his

window down and the trooper smacks him in the head with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger, baffled, says, "Huh?"

The cop replies, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say,

'I Wish that dickhead would've tried that shit with me.'"

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