FREE JOKES!

Free Jokes (Blonde)

She was so blonde:

          she spent 20 minutes looking at
          the orange juice box because it
          said "concentrate!"
          she put lipstick on her forehead
          because she wanted to make up
          her mind!
          she told me to meet her at the
          corner of "WALK" and "DON'T
          WALK"!
          she thought 2Pac Shakur was a
          Jewish holiday!
          she sent me a fax with a stamp
          on it!
          she tried to drown a fish!
          she thought a quarterback was a
          refund!
          she tripped over a cordless
          phone!
          she took a ruler to bed to see
          how long she slept!
          at the bottom of the application
          where it says "sign here," she
          put "Sagittarius"!
          when she heard that 90% of all
          crimes occur around the home,
          she moved!

Blonde Q&A

Question: What's the similarity between a blonde and a turtle?
Answer: Once on their back, they're both Fucked!
******
Question: What do a blonde and a
moped have in common?
Answer: They are both fun to ride
until a friend sees you on one!!
******
Question: What do you call a dead
blonde in a closet?
Answer: The 1984 hide and seek
world champion!
******
Question: What do a blonde and an airplane have in common?
Answer: A cockpit!
******
Did you hear about the new paint
on the market?

It's called Blonde. It's not very
bright, but it spreads easy!
******

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."

Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
A: Wave

Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.

Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.

Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A: Practice.

Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex!

Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.

Q: What does a blonde and a tampon have in common?
A: They're both stuck up c*nts!

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: Why do some blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.

Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: Wishful Thinking.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.

Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.

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